And get off my lawn!

"Pixel" (Improbcat) 08/19/2015 at 09:49 • Filed to: None

7

29

Am I the only one who, when I see the Equinox “our car has wifi!” commericals, thinks “Is that really all it has to offer?”

Having the main selling point of your car be that it can connect to the internet just seems, well, pathetic.

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > Pixel 08/19/2015 at 09:51

0

welcome to 2015...but yes it’s pretty sad.

Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection > Pixel 08/19/2015 at 09:54

0

The Equinox is getting on in years, and it’s not selling as well as its competition despite the available 300-hp V6. So sure, it’s probably a good selling point. The interior is nice even though the styling is 2010-boring. I’d rather have a Terrain if I had to have anything on the Theta.

Eberle-Hills-Cop > Pixel 08/19/2015 at 09:54

2

Cool, my telephone has wifi too.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > Pixel 08/19/2015 at 09:54

4

Umm, they showed it move too. Apparently Equinoxes can still move.

PowderHound > Pixel 08/19/2015 at 09:56

0

I bet that alone sold about 5k cars.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Pixel 08/19/2015 at 09:57

1

HELLO THERE SURFY CONSUMER! OUR CAR CAN WEB MANY, MANY INTERNETS! IT IS SO ONLINE! 4GS ARE HERE! THIS CAR IS ALL WI-FIS! DOWNLOAD LIKE A PRO!

*cough*, sorry. Had some 90s IT-illiteracy stuck in my throat.

LongbowMkII > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner 08/19/2015 at 10:00

0

not for long

jkm7680 > Pixel 08/19/2015 at 10:00

0

The Equinox is otherwise garbage, so that’s the only redeeming feature.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > LongbowMkII 08/19/2015 at 10:01

0

oh it’ll probably drive for a very long time.

Slow speeds don’t put a lot of stress on them.

boxrocket > Pixel 08/19/2015 at 10:04

0

gm has to do something seem appealing. Their products certainly aren’t.

What they don’t tell you (outright, probably in the fine print) is that’s it’s just a hardwired WiFi hotspot much like one could get from their own cell carrier, and the monthly charge - like satellite radio - isn’t included in the purchase price, and there is a data cap. If a customer actually wanted this, they’d be better off either getting a hotspot from their own carrier, or activating tethering (which most carriers include in limited quantities) on their cell phones, making sure to keep either device plugged in as it can be quite the battery drain.

Or give the kids a book.

LongbowMkII > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner 08/19/2015 at 10:06

1

eh, the 2.4 in those just always sound like they are about to throw a rod.

Sn210 > Pixel 08/19/2015 at 10:07

0

That's the dream, right?

EL_ULY > Pixel 08/19/2015 at 10:10

1

it’s “suv” shaped and inexpensive = selling point for most cars on the road today

RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars > Pixel 08/19/2015 at 10:13

0

I think the same thing....I also don’t think having the internet in your car is even that much of a selling point. Most people have data plans on their phone and you can’t really use mobile devices in your car when you are driving, of course. You want to pay for a data plan on your CAR too?

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > LongbowMkII 08/19/2015 at 10:14

0

That’s the key ABOUT TO, don’t often do it.

And don’t forget, somehow it now house a 301 hp V6, which is a shocking amount of hp in an Equinox.

nermal > Pixel 08/19/2015 at 10:15

1

The in-car wifi is basically a cell module built into the radio for voice and data - It’s what the Onstar service runs off of.

On the upside, it will do a monthly “check” of your vehicle and email you a status report - so you know when it’s due for an oil change, for example. Plus, if you have an AT&T plan you can add your car on to it for cheap to share your data. Since the antenna in the car is bigger and more powerful than your phone, speeds and reception will be better.

On the downside, if you don’t subscribe to a plan, you will get spammed repeatedly, including in-car calls (!) for advertisements while you are driving and listening to the radio. Imagine the scenario - You’re minding your own business, rocking out to some sweet jams, then: *doDoDoDOOOO* - “Hello, this is Onstar. Your subscription is expired. If you end up in a ditch upside down, nobody will be able to find you, because we no longer care since you don’t pay us $20 / month. Say *yes* to renew for 5 yrs.”

Source- happened to me.

PS9 > Pixel 08/19/2015 at 10:18

0

-Wifi 4G
-Can move under it’s own power

Literally the only selling points this thing has, and yet it gets to be the 4th best selling CUV thingy in the US. Handily outsells the CX-5 2.5 to one.

BloodlessWeevil > Pixel 08/19/2015 at 10:23

0

It’s what sells. These days too many people do not care that cars are uncomfortable, under-powered, unreliable, impractical, or incapable so long as they can check their Facebook notifications at stop lights. The priorities of the car buying majority almost force manufacturers to make cars that are awful at being cars, just so they can spend more on making them better telephones.

PS9 > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection 08/19/2015 at 10:23

1

I really wish this thing weren’t the 4th best selling compact CUV in the US, but it is. It’s been gaining sales momentum for almost 10 years with no signs of slowing.

GM might give us something that isn’t the vehicular equivalent of a big mac some day, but market forces sure aren’t going to be the thing that prods them to do it.

qbeezy > Pixel 08/19/2015 at 10:26

0

That literally is their only selling point. How do you market a sub par crossover? WiFi!

ly2v8-Brian > Pixel 08/19/2015 at 10:42

0

Non car people love this shit.

Firewrx234 > PS9 08/19/2015 at 10:58

0

Hey now, it also has another handy feature. The second row can move backwards (more second row leg room) or forwards (more cargo space).

But yeah, the 2.4 is mind numbingly slow (it accounted for about 90% of the Equinoxes we sold) and the V6 is meh at best. It needs to be updated and I’m pretty sure the next model year will be it.

Source - I used to be a Chevy car salesman.

Jack Does Cars > Pixel 08/19/2015 at 11:12

0

As a Chevrolet Equinox: yes. Granted, ours is a brown 2010 LT2 V6, so it doesn’t have the WiFi. It also doesn’t have the good 3.6 liter V6, but rather the laggy 3.0 liter V6. The seats are too hard, there isn’t any good tech, it’s loud, and the ride is too harsh for a CUV.

Two years after purchase, my mother is starting to hate it as well, and is planning on getting something within the next year. I’m trying to get her to look at International Scout II’s and FJ60 Land Cruiser’s. The perk is that she likes both of those vehicles.

pjhusa > Pixel 08/19/2015 at 13:12

0

That’s the only redeeming fact about the WHOLE BRAND.

And center airbags in the Traverse ads, by some “Seat Technician”. Nope. Just nope.

CaptDale - is secretly British > Pixel 08/19/2015 at 13:58

0

Hey know, you can get one with the 3.6 and have to do a front cover reseal after 60k miles.

norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner 08/19/2015 at 14:26

0

That V6 is pretty good. Pretty peppy

Source: My grandparents bought a Equinox when they could’ve bought something... better.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback 08/19/2015 at 14:41

1

lol!

Tohru > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 08/21/2015 at 05:38

0

1990’s, or 90 years old?

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Tohru 08/21/2015 at 09:13

1

Yes.